Projecta

Status Check: Time Machine Project

Sciences Div.

01 Jul 2025 — 2 min read

Success is difficult to quantify, and the cost has not been insignificant.

It has been a while since Time Div. has issued any sort of report on their findings and goings-on, and Dr. Lucas is famous for skipping department head meetings, so a progress team was dispatched to investigate and create a summary, shared here.

Since 1997, Dr. Elaine Lucas and her team have been working on a multi-use, retrievable vehicle for movement forward and backward in time. Success is difficult to quantify, and the cost has not been insignificant. Dates and financial details have been withheld.

Launch One: Two-person crew electrocuted, vehicle lost. [Further details redacted.]

Launch Two: Two-person crew killed for reasons undetermined, vehicle unharmed. [Further details redacted.]

Launch Three: Vehicle disappeared, along with crew of two yellow labradors Daisy and Disco. Retrieval unsuccessful.

Launch Four: Vehicle disappeared, along with crew of two persons and three dogs. Retrieval unsuccessful. [Further details redacted.]

Launch Five: Vehicle disappeared, along with crew of two persons and three dogs. Thirty-one minutes later, the vehicle and one dog, a Havanese named Princess, returned. Both unharmed. [Further details redacted.]

Launch Six: Vehicle disappeared, along with crew of three men. Seventeen minutes later, duplicate Princess appeared with neither crew nor vehicle. [Further details redacted.]

Launch Seven: Princess Two demonstrated unwillingness to enter vehicle for this launch, and had to be brought aboard in a carrier. Vehicle and Princess Two disappeared then reappeared nine hours later. Princess One and Princess Two were dissected. [Further details redacted.]

Sizable monetary expense and loss of crew was always a likelihood for this project, and has so far remained within the expected parameters. But a thorough examination of Dr. Lucas’s notes has raised concerns about the personal motivations of herself and her crew. (This includes the theoretical “seeding” of a word into the English language sometime in the past for the purposes of winning a Scrabble game in 2023.) [Further details redacted.]

Status: Ongoing

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